Some of the most powerful conversations I’ve ever had with children have happened without a single word spoken.
Over the years, I’ve worked with many children who are non-verbal, some due to neurological differences, some because of medical conditions, and others because of trauma. Each child communicates. Every child has a voice. But not all voices sound the same.
That’s why I believe so deeply in the power of touch therapy. It’s a language that doesn’t require words, and when offered with intention and respect, it can help non-verbal children feel seen, supported, and safe.
Communication Comes in Many Forms
For a non-verbal child, daily life can be full of misunderstandings. People may speak about them instead of to them. Adults may rush through tasks without waiting for the child to respond in their own way. This can lead to frustration, emotional shutdown, or even physical discomfort.
But when we slow down and use touch as a way of building trust and connection, we begin to hear what is often missed.
I remember working with a little girl who had never spoken aloud. During one of our sessions, I offered gentle massage to her hands and forearms. After a few minutes, she leaned her head gently into my arm, a small gesture, but clear as day: This feels good. I’m okay.
Respect is the First Step
The most important thing we can offer any child, especially a non-verbal one, is choice. We always begin by asking for permission, and then checking in, non-verbally, throughout the experience.
We look for cues:
- Are their muscles relaxing?
- Do they seem comfortable?
- Are they pulling away or turning toward?
These are all meaningful forms of communication.
When a child learns that their signals are respected, it builds trust. And from trust, deeper connection can grow.
Creating Sensory-Friendly Experiences
Many non-verbal children have sensory processing differences, they may be especially sensitive to touch, sounds, or light. That’s why it’s so important to create a calming, predictable environment:
- Use soft lighting
- Keep voices low and calm
- Avoid strong smells or sudden changes
- Offer touch slowly, in rhythm, and with notice
It’s not about doing a “perfect massage.” It’s about creating a moment of peace, tailored to the child’s unique needs and preferences.
Touch as a Two-Way Conversation
Even when a child cannot use spoken language, they’re still speaking. I’ve learned to read the language of hands that twitch slightly when they’re unsure… eyes that light up at the same stroke, every time… feet that pull away when something feels too much.
When we respond with care, the child learns: You’re listening to me.
And that builds more than relaxation, it builds relationship.
Every Child Deserves to Be Heard
So many parents and caregivers of non-verbal children tell me they just wish they could “know what’s going on inside.” My answer is always the same: You already do, you just need to speak the language of presence.
Pediatric touch therapy is never about “fixing” anything. It’s about creating a space where every child, verbal or non-verbal, can be themselves, can feel safe, and can experience connection.
Because every child has something to say.
And every child deserves someone who’s listening.
